Rebel Without a Cause

The other night I got into it with someone because I went on a 2 hour drive to see a friend and decided to take the 2 hour drive back home. At like midnight. In the country. Where it is dark. By myself.  

So at first I held my ground. Because I am a big girl and I can take care of myself. And if something happens I can take care of myself.

But in thinking back it was foolish to do. Anything could have happened. My car could have decided to quit and I would have been on the side of a very dark road. At least two hours from anyone that could help. In the middle of the country. By myself.

Its funny I tell you. I have fear about certain things, and some things I just walk that line. I often think I can't let the "might happen", stop me from doing what I want to do. Yea thank God nothing did happen. And yea you should not stop from doing something because of the possibilites of something bad happening. But you sure can do things to soften that blow. I could have gotten a hotel room. I could have left earlier. I could have taken a friend with me. 

The other day my bestie says to me we need to exchange our important information and contact info within our circle in case of emergency. And yes we need to do that. Because you never know what may happen. I often think I am young and free, but as we get older we are faced so much more with our own mortality. It's rough, but its real.

Oh yea and to the person I got into it with, thank you.

Is being taken advantage of.

It makes me very defensive. Because I hate to feel like someone is playing me. Thinking they have gotten the best of me. They can just take advantage of me and think I will always be here..........waiting............or taking crap.

And I can snap. I have walked away from serious relationships without looking back. I have walked past people and never bat an eye or look in their face like they never existed in my life. I am very very good at protecting myself.

The problem is.... its premeditated protection. Like Ill get you before you get me. Or I will lash out real quick.

dang I sound mean.  But I am really not.

I have to trust my intuition more.  I have to trust my spirit more. I have to trust those quiet times that allow me to feel  what's really going on. My intuition has proved to be right more times than not.

I just listened to a Blog Radio show hosted by The Luvologist titled "Trust me with your Truth." And in it he told some truths about himself, and he also talked about a on line situation he recently went through.

It hit home because truth be told I just went through one too.  I kept most of it to myself because my friends al ready think I spend too much time on line. And when I mentioned the fact I "met" someone I got even more slack.

And I defended it because really just like I am a normal person, and I have met some people who ar enow good friends through myspace, you can meet normal people on line.

But it doesn't always work out that way.  You never know what someone's motive is on line or in person to be honest. And on line its often harder to tell. Because they could be telling you anything all the while sitting in a jail cell.

Thats the crazy thing, I am not against meeting someone on line. But there comes a point where if you say you want to go a step further , then you actually take the step to meet in person.  And If I can't meet you in person because there is always a reason, always a circumstance, always an excuse, always a problem, then I get real skeptical.  Or maybe my life is not that hectic.  Because if I really wanted to meet someone, I can make it happen. I mean I dated someone in Jamaica for about a year.  You make it happen.

Anyway, to all those meeting people on line, know what your getting involved in. It may work and it may not. Know the truth and make sure its a person that can trust you with their truth both on line and in person. 

To blogger. Stay Tuned.

"When our relationships are based on total self-acceptance, we can accept others as they are, love them just as they are, without trying to fix them or expecting them to fix us. In order for our relationships to facilitate healing, we must practice unconditional love of ourselves, family members, friends, and mates. Unconditional love allows us to love someone without expectation, judgement, fear, or the need to be in their face all the time. It enables us to live and love, rather than living just to find someone to love in the hope that they will me us feel lovable." 

-Iyanla Vanzant

Is always about sad crap. what the hell? is there nothing good and happy to talk about? Sick of it.

First  you have to want to go somewhere.  Its not hard to pick places. You can research them online, ask friends or maybe visit someone you met who lives in a different state. Visiting friends is a wonderful thing and showing the effort to take a trip to go see them can build a stronger friendship.

Once you picked a place, you can buy a ticket many ways. The old fashion way is to go to the airport and buy it at the ticket counter. But with online services and travel agencies there are plenty of options. I suggest online services because you can compare prices as well as service fees. I like to use www.cheapticktets.com to compare. Then I often go directly to the airline site so book. Going directly to the airlines may give you a bonus on miles and I like to rack up miles where I can.

You should have a schedule in you mind,  a plan of action. What days you want to go and considering the flight time, the times you want to leave and return.  Now you can purchase with a credit card, debit card and I even believe some airline allow you to use paypal. Yep paypal, electronic checks, even western union.  They give you options.

You then pick your flight, fill out your information, confirm your charges and hit purchase! You now have a plane ticket. Make sure you get to the airport and get on the plane!! Fly off and your on your way to a great time!!!

Now I have simplified this process in my blog but feel free to ask specific questions.

Oh I forgot to say tickets usually require at last a 14 day advanced purchase to get a good price.  You can buy a ticket the same day but it would most likely be at a very steep price. It's always best to plan, plan plan.  

I should have done what I said I was gonna do. Just focus on getting things right. But sometimes people pop in your life and you are not sure of the reason so you roll. 

I have come a long way, because I think at another time I would have been very angry right now.  But I am learning about this faith walk.  People will show you who they are. And things will go the way they are supposed to go.  If it's meant to be, it will be. And what is meant for you, you will have.

Yea I just cliched this post all up!

It's all good though! I am focused.  I have to be.  Because when it's time, I am going to be ready for it.

If you could enforce one rule of etiquette, what would it be?
Submitted by S@ngarang.

Saying Thank You.

I hate when people take the term "keeping it real" completely out of context. And I hear it a lot because I am from NY and NYers are notorious for trying to keep things real.

But besides being a NYer, am I am person. I decent one at that.

So in an effort to keep it real, I don't set out to hurt peoples feelings. I don't gloat in hurting someone's feeling either. But what I will do is look at things from an upfront and honest approach. That comes from the life I have had, and the things I have been through.

Yep I grew up in NY and the youngest daughter of a single mother. I often had to deal with things on my own. Therefore I had to be honest about what was going on around me and not walk around blind to stuff. My sister is a no nonsense type of person. My dad was a no nonsense type of person. The only thing he kept from me was that he had cancer and when he was dying and he saw how shocked I was, he regretted keeping it from me.

When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, she took a head on approach. She changed her life and believed that she was going to get better and she was going to make the most out of every day. To me my mom and dad kept it real.

I have heard stories of people dying and no one knew they were sick. Actually just had a friend who passed away because he didn't keep it real about his physical condition. I have heard friends talk about financial problems they had no clue were going on because those responsible for those things, did not keep it real with what is going on.

I will not apologize for keeping things real. Maybe I can be harsh in my approach, and that is something I can work on and probably should. But I will not accept secrets. I will not accept not looking at both sides of the coin.  And yea often times keeping things real hurt, it hurts bad. But its something to work through. I rather work through it now than later when I have to add shock, disappointment, anger and all these other emotions that come from being kept in the dark about something.