Rules of Engagement

I'm pretty angry right now to the point I just screamed on my co-worker like we were in the street about to throw down.  I should not have but crap happens.

1. This is a public blog. You read it great, you don't great. If you read it and I talk about you, I am saying stuff I am not scared to tell you face to face.  If I want to hide something, trust me it gets hidden. So if anyone has a question about what I wrote feel free.

2. I make no apologies for how I feel.  Now my reactions to how I feel may not always be good and I admit that. But if I get hurt or angry about something DONE to me then I have every right to feel that way and I will NOT be sorry about that.

3. I hate going around in circles in a disagreement.  For example:

Person A: I'm hurt because you do this.

Person B: Well I'm hurt because you do this first.

Or another

Person A: I am mad because this happened.

Person B: Well that would never had happened if you didn't do this!

WTF???? If I approach you with a problem, its not to pass the buck back to me.  If you do that I will not have a discussion with you about I how feel.  Because I realize no matter how I feel as a result of your actions, it will always be my fault some way some how. 

4. I don't hold grudges.  But if you hurt me, I will be hurt for awhile, I am trying to learn forgiveness. But I don't forget and I don't sweep it under the rug because of an apology.  Trust is earned and once that is broken, I may trust you again, but it will take time. I will keep a fair distance until I feel comfortable again.  To me thats only fair.  Life is to short to just cut people off unless you do something really bad to me.  But it takes time to rebuild and if its worth it I take the time. I won't do things to hurt you, but you don't get an open arm reception.  

As my friend Floyd has mentioned, this here blog is to express how I feel and it makes me feel better.  I don't have to talk to anyone about how I feel not even the person who has me feeling that way.  I may want to write about it to get it out.  I don't even think people really read what I write here all that often, so its not to put it out on public display like an advertisment.  Yea I may feel a certain way and react without talking about it, and that too I am working on. But we are all a work in progress. At least I can admit it.